Sometimes we don’t realise what we’re holding onto inside until it gets triggered by something. Maybe a conversation, or you observe it in other people or see it in a film.
“We all have the ability to recognise that which we also hold.”
With the new year, our attention is often on reflection and on what has been. For me, a major focus has been on forgiveness, both for myself and for other people. I look back on last year and see points where I said I forgive, but I’m still clutching on to it, I haven’t actually let go.
So I have taken time to formulate a way that I can be at peace with past mistakes and be able to move freely within my life without wishing for more or less. Perhaps it is also something you can relate to.
- Identify the issue and how it makes you feel whether that’s angry, sad, guilty, hurt, betrayed, jealous. Sit with that feeling, play it over in your mind until you can almost imagine it there. Allow it to consume you, to relive the moment and all related conversations. Then breathe out and let it go, feel it leaving your body.
- Now imagine that same scenerio from someone else’s point of view, maybe someone you admire, maybe a friend or family member, someone you trust. Imagine how they would react, what would they say to you about the issue? For instance, maybe you feel angry that a colleague got promoted and you didn’t, even though you’d put in the hours. But, from the point of view of your mentor, they say see it is an opportunity to grow and learn more, get comfortable with feedback.
- Hopefully the second scenerio makes you feel more peaceful and more content with the issue. So now you can use that second scenerio to swish away the bad feelings and the wounds of the past. Whenever something triggers it, choose to see the second scenerio, always.
Don’t put pressure on yourself, take time to replay the sequence, sit with your feelings and work out a way of seeing the situation in a positive, hopeful way.
Reach out to people to help you. Don’t be afraid to extend an olive branch and be hopeful that it comes back to you, but never assume it will. Be comfortable with the fact that it might not return.
Know that you are worthy and that you are enough, just as you are. We are all human, capable of mistakes and also capable of forgiveness. By letting go of what is hurting you, you are allowing yourself forgiveness.