I think your 20s are times in your life when you’re trying to figure out what you really want in life. So many doors open, so many new people to meet and things to do. Yet I know that over the past few years, I have discussed the ‘future’ with those around me more than I ever thought possible.
Whatever happened to just take it as it comes?! That’s the advice you get from people when you try to fathom out your purpose in life, but actually it’s harder to do than you think.
Not to mention the amount of people you come across in your twenties. From the weird guy you went on a date with to the older friend who has her whole life planned out, and from your older and wiser colleague to the next door neighbour with the screaming baby. It just goes to show the variety of people out there.
And just as you are working on your own self-confidence and purpose, these people can both add to and take away from what you are trying to achieve. Pushing and pulling you in every direction possible. Lifting you up and dropping you back down in a wave of emotions that is no way near as relaxing as sitting on a beach watching the tide roll in.
So why do we let certain people get to us, whilst others, usually the ones with the wisest words escape our conscious when we most need them. It’s one of our negative traits as women to pick up on any negativity and hold on to it, rather than let it go and just remember the positive bits.
There are times when we are more prone to listening to the negative thoughts, usually when we’re tired, upset or have a lot on our plates. And yet those people who say things which perhaps are taken the wrong way but nevertheless get to you, can also be people who most of the time you enjoy hanging out with. So what now?
The first call is to look at it yourself. Is it characteristic of them to say something like that? And if so, did you take it the wrong way? If not, I find it’s always best to just mention it. Most people won’t be aware they made you feel upset, as anyone that cares about you won’t have meant to make you feel that way.
It’s frustrating when you have moments of weakness where suddenly it all seems like the world is against you. People who you thought were your friends say things which can sound the opposite of friendly, perhaps they catch you on a bad day. But the important thing is that these are lapses. Everyone has times when it all seems too much. A good time to clean your plate of excess ‘stuff’.
Come away from it stronger. Reconnect with your friends and build a stronger base so next time they say something you know where they’re coming from. Invest more time in really trying to get to know your friends better. It’s easy to message, but arrange a phone call or even better a time to meet up. Listen and enjoy their company and see if you can find out something new about them. People always have something to give.
Whatever you do, never ever think that you are not worthy of someone’s friendship. Ultimately your true friends say things with your best interests at heart and would never deliberately hurt you. If they offend you, tell them. Open up the lines of communication and be the one to take the first step in building a stronger, lasting friendship.
Let your friends be the ones who can help guide you through the exciting adventure that turns out to be your 20s. And one day you’ll look back and laugh at it all, together.