Building confidence has a lot to do with dependency. If you are too dependent on someone, it’s like saying you need them to ‘complete’ you. This goes for friendships and relationships alike, when in fact you complete yourself, there is no-one else who can be your magic missing jigsaw piece. You are your own puzzle to solve.
The problem lies in the fact that many of us don’t solve our own puzzle and we rely on others to do it for us. How about if we switched on our can do attitude and decided we could depend on ourselves to work it out?
As I’ve said before, we are way more capable than we give ourselves credit for, we just don’t always test the boundaries.
Learn to look out for yourself more, at the end of the day, we are all living individual lives, so make the most of it. Go out, enjoy your own company and say to yourself, ‘I’ve got your back’. Be your own partner in crime. Then, and only then, do you appreciate what you can do.
You can travel alone, you can run further than you thought, you can learning a new language.
Just this week I had been meaning to go out for a run and hadn’t found the motivation until I got an added boost with some encouraging words from a friend. I decided there could be no more excuses – it wasn’t too cold or too wet, so I kitted up and went out. I ran for 40 minutes, covering 6 km, stopping only at traffic lights and I tackled a considerable hill without stopping. I got back and felt so proud of myself.
After a month of not being out pounding the pavements, it felt amazing to be able to go out and accomplish that.
In a similar vein, I can quite happily plan a few days break alone. Other people find this strange but in my eyes if you want to do something, there is nothing stopping you, except yourself.
If you’re afraid of being alone, be alone and get to know why it scares you – does it really scare you? Just as they say if you’re scared of flying, fly. Facing your fears is the only way to overcome them. You can do it.