Week 39: Managing expectations

One thing which we all have to deal with from time to time is being let down. This is especially  annoying if you have been depending on the other person to go to see something, or go somewhere together.

However if there’s one thing worth taking away from this is that sometimes we have to lower our expectations of other people so that we don’t get as disappointed.

When you think about it, it sounds wrong to have to lower your expectations when other people may not do the same for you. But in the long run it can save a lot of getting upset or frustrated with other people and can help boost that all important self-esteem. I find that I tend to blame myself when others let me down, when in fact it’s just one of those things and probably completely unrelated to anything you have ever said or done.

Managing expectations is all very well said and done but in practice it is very hard to carry out. As something which is engrained in our natures, it doesn’t take a day to put right. I started the gradual process this week to expect less from people in order to get more from my relationship with them.

For instance, this weekend I had made plans to visit London with a friend. At the last minute they cancelled. I was disappointed and part of me wanted to sulk around feeling sorry for myself but instead I thought, you know what, I’m going anyway. And I did.

I had a lovely day out and came back feeling good about myself. I am good company and I was able to explore on my own without expecting anything from anyone else. It was actually just what I needed. I can expect a lot from myself because I can deliver but when it comes to others I have to remember that not everyone has the same outlook as me.

Our differences are to be celebrated but in order for me to ensure I don’t feel let down more than necessary I am embarking on a journey to expect less from those around me. Sounds like a step backwards, but when I know I can rely on myself, surely I can never get let down because there is always a plan B.

So it’s more of what I want to do and if others can share in that, great, if not, I have my own company and for me, that is enough.

I am learning to see others as a bonus not a requirement.

 

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