Week 10: Knowing your friends

“I think if I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together.” ― Jon Katz

I chose this quote because it pretty much sums up what I’ve found out this week. Some friends will be there for you while others are ones you can let go of. 

It’s been an interesting week and I have learnt a lot not only about myself but about those around me. This week, I just stopped making the first effort with anyone to see who would text, or phone or get in touch, without me doing anything. There are some people in my life who I immediately knew I could live without, they would never make any effort unless prompted and I’m not prepared to have a half-hearted friendship with them. Then there were people who are almost like a part of me, my closest friends who I would never dream of throwing away. The biggest challenge was with those who I thought weren’t any good, but they actually proved themselves this week.

Let me explain.

When trying to identify the people I wanted to let go of I came up with a small list but two of them were definites, the others I wasn’t sure about. As it happened one of these people was someone I’d known for a while but they’re one of those people who is absolutely hopeless at replying to texts, which drives me up the wall. However, recently we had started calling, or rather I called instead of texting, which seemed to work out fine. When I stepped back to see who would make an effort, they surprised me by texting me. 

This sent me into absolute turmoil – did I really want to cut them out? Should I reply? Were they a better friend than I thought? All manner of worries flying through my head and I got quite upset about it. That’s when I realised that if you get upset over someone it’s because you care about them. So perhaps this was a good friend after all.

I proceeded to analyse our friendship history and came to the conclusion that maybe I had been a bit harsh on them. Perhaps it was more a matter of being annoyed that they didn’t reply to texts very often that soured the friendship more than anything. Since then, we had a chat about all sorts, and it clicked that this person did care about me and was in fact a good friend. After our conversation I came away feeling great, and if someone makes you feel good then it’s worth having them around.

So, despite initial perceptions, some people are worth hanging onto. It’s funny how just stepping back and looking from afar can put these things into perspective. 

Spring cleaning is all very well for house and home, however when it comes to friendships, it’s not quite so clear cut. Sometimes no matter how hard you try to get rid of the cobwebs, they are there to stay.

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