So enough of the talking about getting more confident, I decided this week I would put it to the test and act confident. Half the battle is just doing it. People say if you act like you have the confidence, then the confidence will come afterwards. More on that later.
Acting confident when you see yourself in a certain way is actually very hard. It’s one thing meeting new people and coming across as confident but in an everyday situation where your friends, colleagues and house mates are used to seeing you in a certain light, it’s a whole different kettle of fish.
Day one was a day in the office and I caught myself several times thinking ‘I can’t say that’ or ‘I shouldn’t do that’ when in fact I was just a bit scared about what people might think. Small things like should I have a conversation now or later, or shall I go and see my colleague about something or send her an email.
However, I bit the bullet and did have the conversation at that moment and go and see my colleague and you know what, it was fine!
So it’s basically fear of the unknown and fear of being judged in a certain way by people. Now friends tell me that as you get older, this self-consciousness disappears and you’re not as aware of what other people think of you. Well this is all very well and good but I want to do something about it now.
In your early twenties, it makes sense to care about what other people think because you are starting out in the real world and want to make good impressions. Therefore, I’m not trying to not care, I just want to be confident about my own self-image so I don’t make it such a big issue.
With that in mind, I have identified three things which terrify me in a social situation and I am going to do all three this week:
1. Starting a new conversation topic in a group of acquaintances
2. Offering an opinion which differs from those around me (often I tend to agree even if that’s not the way I feel)
3. Asking what people are talking about (instead, I usually just nod along and have no idea what’s going on)