This week I was using an app called Let’s Meditate to practice meditation every day. At first I started with just 5 minutes and through the week build it up to 15 minutes. I didn’t know what to make of it, so I kept an open mind, but I did really enjoy it.
Meditation brings a lot of benefit and adds a focus to your day. I found I liked to do mine before work in the morning but at weekends, I preferred to do it in the afternoon. It can be hard to take those 5, 10 minutes to just breathe and focus, particularly if you share the house with someone and you’re conscious they may disturb your peace, but I quickly learnt to relax. So much so, that even 15 minutes seemed too short by the time Sunday rolled around.
It also taught me something more about myself. That everything I do tends to end up on my to-do list, regardless of whether it’s something I enjoy or not. So cleaning the bathroom goes alongside reading my book, and writing my blog can be found on the same list as sorting out my business budget.
During this week – finding time to meditate – it occurred to me that this too was a form of task in my head, and I tried to schedule it in. There are arguments for and against this way of doing things. On the one hand, adding the nice things to your to-do list add variety and can be a good reminder. On the other hand, it can end up adding to your overall sense of overwhelm, or you start to resent certain things.
I am a great believer in balance and everything in moderation but I have also realised that parts of my life which were once spontaneous or heart-driven, have become task-orientated. It means I have left myself hardly any time to be bored, to explore and to adventure. There are some days where I wake up and just feel my way through the day, deciding what to do next based on what my heart tells me, and other days where I am so focused on knocking 10 tasks off my list that I forget everything else.
So this week, I am giving myself permission to wipe clean my to-do list. Things will get done because either they need to be, I remember them or I want to do them. No lists. I want to explore how my mind works when it is free of tasks, what it prioritises and what it doesn’t. It is an exercise in self-exploration and freedom. It is about being present, being right here, right now doing what you’re doing.